Political Humor

Democrats believe:

A teacher who can't teach 4th graders to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

There would be no art without Federal Funding.

Standardized tests are rascists, but racial quotas aren't.

Taxes are to low but ATM fees are to high.

Guns in the hands of law abiding citizens are more dangerous than an all powerful government in Washington.

Business creates oppression and governments create prosperity.

that anyone who disagrees with you is either a) a right wing fundamentalist who listens to too much talk radio, b) a heartless conservative who wants everyone to make $2 and hour, or c) a stupid redneck who beats his wife and owns too many guns

despite vast volumes of evidence to the contrary, business regulations and welfare codes written by rich people really do benefit the poor

that banning cheap guns so poor people can’t protect themselves as easily is “progressive”

that the Great Depression ended because Franklin Roosevelt was a courageous leader who dared to spend a lot of other people’s money, and not because of more favorable economic conditions following the Second World War

Republicans Believe:

despite vast evidence to the contrary, perpetual warfare can be waged by a limited, non-intrusive government

that violating the Constitution so innocent people are not protected by the law is “patriotic”

that terrorism and hatred towards America are spread by a lack of US Military occupations

that the best way to help the poor is to have the government give more of their money to the rich

that welfare-statism is done for economic well-being when it is done by a Republican president

Libertarians believe:

The Second Amendment is the only gun permit you need.

Taxes are ridiculously high.

The left is to left and the right is just plain wrong.

In the Bill of Rights.

There are to many laws.

Government is force. (Gun to your head)

In Civil Liberties.

Self-responsibility.

Adults should be allowed to consume whatever they see fit into their bodies as long as they don't threaten another humans life.

Your Sex Life is Private.

Government should not define marriage. Consenting adults should be allowed to marry whoever, and as many other adults as they want.

Seat belt laws are an invasion of privacy.

Parents best know how to raise their children not the state.
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I hope you guys found this funny and brutally honest look at the American political parties.